Christmas Carols

Carols on Christmas Night December 25 2009


After sharing love all day with friends and family,

I sit now before the fireplace.

Kiri Te Kanawa sings “Coventry Carol.”

The dog curls in her bed, content.

I’m savoring this scene –

It’s full, resonant, complete.

Each Present Moment, like a warming fire,

Casts a safe and golden circle.

Around its edge, my mundane worries lurk, as if coyotes prowling.

They can’t invade while I stay mindful,

Saying “Yes” to Now.



Reflection

This is a day for love, for belonging, for giving and receiving. I give thanks for the day I’ve had, for the gifts of loving friendship, meditation, beauty, children and grandchildren, comfort, fun and creativity. At the end of a year of sadness and searching, this day has been miraculous.

A year ago, we had just celebrated Ellen’s life – with the “Memorial New York Cocktail Party” she had requested in lieu of a service. Over a hundred friends and family members had come from across the country and across the street, to fill our house with their love for Ellen and their support for me. We had shared a very special day. Those friends and family members have continued to sustain me through this year, as I have sought to put myself and my life back together.

A year ago today, I experienced an intensely powerful dream that resonated with me all of Christmas and beyond, although then I didn’t understand its meaning. The fact that it included a nest full of fledgling birds was interesting, given my history of breeding and nurturing birds, small and large. In the dream, as I saw the flurry of birds about to take wing, I felt a wave of affection. Looking back now at the poem I wrote describing that dream, I see that it predicted writing the book and the poems – each one, in the language of the dream, a green budgie flying away to proclaim “the good word” -- each one a gift of love.


Christmas Spirit Present December 25 2008

I dreamed a Christmas service.

My favorite childhood priest was there.

He had always helped me, made me feel special;

In the dream, he made me think of Ellen.

He told me

To run up and ring the steeple bell.

Other bells were pealing forth across the city and

Our voice, too, was needed.

I ran up, as told, gripped the rope, and pulled.

Nothing.

I climbed higher. Twigs and grass fell from the bell.

But it wouldn’t ring.

Then I got really close, peered in, and

Saw inside the bell a nest of budgies –

Eager, bright green birds, about to fledge,

To spread the Word to many.

I helped them fly away. I was happy --

I did my job; I felt its meaning.

I had feared an agonizing Christmas as I mourned.

But the dream transformed my mood.


Instead, as in the Christmas story,

Joy peals forth;

The bell rings out.

The Word is Love, and I am blessed.