Nurture

Nurture May 9 2010

People pause today to sing their mother’s praises –

How she held them, fed them, watched them,

How they learned to love from her,

How she led them gently into earth’s delights.


They’re the fortunate.


Some babies have to scrape for love.

They find it in the hearts of other women,

Surviving, love-starved, as do street kids seeking scraps of food.

As I join in celebrating mothers on this yearly day,

I pray for those whose moms are ill, or dead, or otherwise inapt

To give their children mother love.

I pray that God will give to all his orphaned ones

The love and nurturing they need to learn their beauty,

Trust their worth,

Know their glorious souls, and find deep joy while in this life.

Young or old, we all need mothering.

Blessed are those who nurture others – they shall shine as stars forever.


Reflection

It’s Mother’s Day. Today, I feel separated from the general sentimentality. I realize, again,  that I can’t celebrate my mother’s nurturing care. She was disappointed in me. She was  also ill and depressed. She had no empathy, nor even common sense for caring for a baby. I felt alone and abandoned, from birth. I felt defective, unworthy, unacceptable.

This start has affected my whole life. It created the framework within which I have struggled to accept myself, to enjoy being who I am. My grandmother, my teachers (nuns teaching in Catholic schools), an older spinster who worked humbly as a priests' housekeeper, and the librarian in the small town library where I grew up were my adult friends and supporters. I confided in them, and knew, from their welcome and their support, that I was potentially lovable. They gave me hope. By default, they played the role of surrogate mothers, and I honor their memories today and express my gratitude for the love they brought into my life. 

 I’m not alone in this situation. Many other people’s mental and emotional stability through childhood was preserved by the love of neighbors, teachers, aunts or uncles, grandparents – other grownups who were not our biological mothers, and  who provided real  love -- essential spiritual and emotional nourishment for a child's spirits. On Mother’s Day, it seems appropriate to love and appreciate, along with our mothers, those other adults whose affection helped us to develop a greater reservoir of love to share when we would be grown up. 

. This day should really be called “Raised by a Village Day.”