Thanksgiving Thoughts

Holidays November 21 2009


Thanksgiving holiday festivities

Evoke so many memories, both sad and happy.

I recollect the drive to Grandma’s house

In childhood – all 7 of us piled in the car,

Belting out “Over the River and Through the Woods”

Over and over, in a fever-pitch of glee.

I remember how strange it was in France

That Thanksgiving was a non-event.

How was it possible to live like that?

Next came decades of long drives to northern Indiana,

To share dinner, and then weekend shopping

With my husband’s family –

Fellowship and boredom, kielbasa and perogi,

Snow-bound, icy roads and frostbitten faces.

Then the wonder years with Ellen –

“Pearl Mesta of 13th Street” – she who loved to host a party,

Who struggled, lifelong, to collect, absent an extended family,

A steady group of guests for turkey dinner every year.

We say the purpose of Thanksgiving is

To say our thanks for the many gifts we have –

But I think that it’s a test of whether we belong somewhere,

Can feel we have a family, a community, a place of welcome.

Gratitude, to count, must come from plural voices,

And loneliness is horrifying – not allowed, for this one day.



Reflection:

Traditions are our bulwark against loneliness, sorrow, and unhappiness. They mark the year’s cycle of time, creating recognizable steps from one day, one month to the next. When a year is completed, we start again, treading the same territory over and over but at a slightly different angle each time. In this way, life is a labyrinth, a measured passage in circles and spirals, a meditation on the meaning of love and learning.

We think of our life as a line of years, from 1 to 100. Outside the numeric pattern, though, it’s actually circular. We revisit, repeatedly, the same places, the same footfalls, the same questions – each time with a different soul, mind, spirit, awareness, life.

With no traditions, our lives would have no mileposts, no touchstones. We’d evolve in an arid, endless desert, chasing mirages of love and comfort.

This Thanksgiving, I’m grateful to have a family circle into which to fall. And I already miss terribly the family circle you and I once created, together, with our own traditions -- our own rituals of what to serve, how to serve it, and how to structure this festive day. Our holiday dishes, good place settings, wine glasses, and special serving dishes will remain stacked in the pantry. Our fridge will remain empty. Our house, where friendly voices used to chatter contentedly around a crackling fire, then a laden table, will remain silent, unanimated. I’ll be with my family, but a large part of my heart will be missing you and our life together! Remembrance will swell my spirit, though loneliness be banished.