Being Lovable

Memorial Service January 31 2010


Loved ones come together,

Bound by friendship –

Family, whether kin or not,

Remembering the nourishment of love,

Grateful for the gifts once borne into our lives,

Aching for the piece of us now ripped away.

The saddest thought for me:

That the love that overflows on these occasions

Was often hidden from the person’s view

Before she died.

We are beloved, though we often think we’re not --

Thinking that we haven’t mattered, that we’ve failed,

That we haven’t measured up to our or others’ hopes for us.

Yet, the love was there, that manna that we crave and need,

Just waiting for our hearts to open to its warm embrace.

Why is it so hard for us to know the joy of feeling

Beautiful, worthy, lovable – beloved?



Reflection:

I attended a memorial service today with a friend. I didn’t know the person who had passed. Her loved ones -- those with whom she’d shared her God-nature, her loving heart – testified to the love they felt for her, the love she shared with them as friend, parent, sibling.

The service reminded me of the outpouring of love that I was privileged to share when we put together the Memorial for Ellen a year ago December. Ellen had struggled so -- with her lifelong sense that she had failed, that people had expected more than she could give, that she was looked down upon, “less than…” The feeling had started with her mother, who, she thought, could not look at her upper right quadrant that had been paralyzed at birth, who had at one point, probably in frustration, cursed her, saying “Nothing good should ever happen to you!” She had borne the shame of a visible disability, striving always to be good enough by becoming better than everyone else at everything she tried. She had worn out in her demanding medical career, ultimately being accused of not pulling her weight and having to take early retirement on disability. She had found peace only months before her death, finally accepting that everyone, including herself, had done the best they could with what they had, and that she was loveable, as was everyone else in her life. She had forgiven and transcended.

The Memorial for her overflowed with the love of her family and friends, and I thought how sad it was that she had never realized, while alive, the deep and meaningful ways in which she had touched hundreds of lives, transforming them forever with love. She had been a powerful expression of God -nature while in this physical life, and yet had felt unworthy to be loved.

Today, I saw this same phenomenon again – a memorial service filled with glowing testimonials to heroic love displayed by the deceased person, who clearly had not realized the depth of love she had shared and generated while in her body – who had lived in emotional pain and sometimes despair.

This is frequently such a hard realization to acquire – that we are loved. I wonder if one of our missions while on earth is to learn that we are beautiful, infinitely loveable and loving expressions of divine nature, even as we share God’s love with those around us. I think that as humans we need not only love others, but also let ourselves experience the joy of being loved. Our natural spiritual environment is infinite love, and our challenge is to transcend the physical ego that obscures our knowledge of who we are in spirit, allowing ourselves to simply be the loving, beautiful, beloved beings that we truly are.


Walk Nov 25 2008

Walking in morning air -- brisk, sunny, beautiful.

I connect with the world,

Love the light,

Resonate to winter stillness.

I recognize, too, life from other spheres,

Connecting with all that lies outside this present moment.

Remembering that nothing is lost that has been,

That I am wrapped in endless love.


SPIRIT GIFT December 7 2008, after Ellen’s Memorial party

What happens when many people meet

To celebrate the life and love of one

Whose path has led beyond this life?

Jesus told his friends to gather in his name and he would be with them.

When they did, they were transformed.

I always thought that only happened if you were God.

Yet, yesterday, your loved ones came together,

Shared one room, one breath, one feast, one toast --

Blessing. Honoring. Remembering. Learning.

You too were here,

Present in our hearts and minds.

Your spirit lifted ours above our daily fears.

We communed -- a sacred moment,

A hint of bliss to come

When we too will leave this life,

A moment of unity with what Is.

We will always remember that we shared

Your special moment, your party,

Your gift of love.