Ellen's birthday

Special Days January 27 2010


365 every year, cycling dates.

The sun warms our side of earth and then we turn again –

Circadian creatures.

We know to sleep, then waken, over and again.

We track and count the sun’s returns –

Counting on them for our lives.

We asterisk some dates – give them extra meaning

For ourselves and those we love.

Today, my love, I think of you,

So glad that you were born

And that love guided us together.

My heart glows with birthday thoughts of you.



Reflection:

My love, you so faithfully, while here, let people know how special you found them, by making sure to tell them so on their birthdays. You taught me that the number of cycles we’d completed didn’t matter. What mattered was the person’s existence in our lives. Your standard birthday greeting, “I’m so glad you were born,” was beautiful and loving. You made it a point, when you met someone, to find out their birthday, and to record it for yourself.

You were a lover of music – all kinds of music – it didn’t matter what it was. You even enjoyed watching rock performers on MTV. But you were especially fond of classical music, which you had discovered as a child. Your uncle was a violinist, and he and his family gave you, over time, a large collection of 78 RPM record sets containing great performances of classical pieces. You listened to them over and over, etching them permanently into your ear and mind. Whenever we were in the car, listening to your favorite classical music station, and a new piece started, within the first two measures you always knew the name of the piece and the composer – and you were always right. I found your memory for music amazing – I who was 10 before I could barely carry a tune, and who remember all the words to maybe two songs – the first verse of “Silent Night” and the chorus of “Jingle Bells”!

You said you always had music playing in your head – your mind provided you with an ongoing concert of great musical masterpieces. Many mornings, as your eyes opened, you would start singing a tune or song that was passing through your mind at that moment. I love remembering your daily ritual of greeting the new day with song. Your heart was happy, and mine rejoiced in harmony with yours.

To celebrate your birthday this year, I made a contribution to our classical music station which you enjoyed so much. I asked to sponsor part of the programming they played today, the birthday you shared with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. Somewhere, I can imagine you smiling as you hum tunes from perhaps “The Magic Flute” or one or another of Mozart’s sonatas.

I’m so glad you – and Mozart – were born!

Having a birthday in January – being an Aquarian – was important in your life. You attracted others with birthdays in January. Your personal and business partners were born between January 2 and January 5. At one point, in Berkeley, we knew close to two dozen friends with birthdays in January – most of them Aquarians. We started annual parties for “januarians” and their significant others. What great fun those gatherings were! Birthdays really were high points in your life on earth.



Capricorn and Aquarius, Jan 2 2009

We were “Januarians.”

Both with January birthdays,

But oh so distinct – Capricorn and Aquarius.

I, solid Capricorn: earthbound, cautious, organized.

You airborne Aquarius: spontaneous, gregarious, creative.

You taught me awareness of feelings, enjoyment of friends.

I taught you a more structured, thoughtful way to be.

It took a long time for us to understand each other.

You’d tell of dreadful anguish, and I’d tremble for you,

Until you’d laugh and say it wasn’t THAT bad.

I’d say an idea or gift was “nice,” and you’d feel crushed,

Disappointed, not knowing “nice” was my superlative.

Your questions pierced right to the heart of others’ cares

While I listened and said little, though in tune with you;

People remembered meeting you, not me.

You greeted all with fervent hugs, a gay “Hi, Bubbele!”

I smiled quietly and said “Hello.”

I often wondered how we two could be as one,

Yet diverge so starkly,

Like the different faces of a mountain or a Roman god.



So Glad January 27, 2009

“I’m so glad you were born!”

You greeted all your friends this way

On their birthdays.

It was the right diversion

From thoughts of years encroaching.



Tonight, we ate chili and your favorite lemon cookies,

And lit a birthday candle.

As we celebrated you,

I thought of all the love, all the caring,

All the knowing and the wisdom

We would have missed, without your birth.

The candle proclaimed for us:

“We’re so glad you were born!”