Jigsaw puzzle pieces

Jigsaw Puzzle February 19 2010


The genes are scrambled,

Like a pile of puzzle pieces.

To make a creature takes half from this pile, half from that;

Which half of each is random.



Seeing siblings of a departed one

Brings back memories –

A smile, the shape of ears, the way of walking,

Hands elegant -- long graceful fingers,

The angle of a brow, hook of a nose.

I know those features!

I loved them well – but on another.



Yet despite the strange resemblances in body,

The person’s soul, the essence,

Has no connection, no resonance.

I see how siblings are a discipline –

They share so much, partake so little,

Know the world so differently.



Reflection

Visiting one of Ellen’s siblings is such an interesting experience. They share not only physical features, but also attributes of mind – keen spatial perception, sharp understanding, sheer intelligence, artistic awareness. Above all, they share a towering, forceful presence. They are equally self-assured about the best way to do things. They are also equally charming, beguiling the acceptance and enjoyment of their audiences. Of course, they also shared a large extended family, the day to day logistics of growing up in the same apartments, the cultural ethos of a Brooklyn-based Russian Jewish background.

Seeing so many fleeting reflections so reminiscent of my beloved Ellen, but attached to a different person is probably very helpful to me. It is, of course, nostalgically pleasant to experience once again features that I had thought unique to Ellen. The fact that this person is not very much like Ellen spiritually, though so alike in other ways, also helps me to detach from my nostalgia for those traits, which, after all, typefied the body that Ellen’s spirit inhabited and used during this lifetime, but were irrelevant to who she really was.

This visit also helps me to see my own siblings in a new light – knowing all that we share, and understanding, finally, all that we don’t at all share – the physical distinguished from the spiritual, from the essence of what makes each person unique. As children, we are generally challenged to cope with the family in which we happened to land genetically. As adults we also get to find and choose our own close spiritual relations – those whose paths through life closely parallel and enhance ours. What an elegant system for insuring diversity amid sameness!