Languages

Languages February 20 2010


We speak – in so many ways,

With our whole bodies.

We say much more than what we think, than what we know.

We tell our mood, our expectations, our wishes,

Where we desire to belong,

Our vibration and our resonance.

The meanings of our words and gestures

Swim in this sea of messages,

Telling all the world

The things we’re sure we’ve hidden -- even from ourselves.



Reflection

I’ve just spent a weekend in Florida, amid a flood of Yankees who moved here years ago, or who are here visiting for a school vacation week – seeking sun, and warmer weather. These people grumble, “This isn’t why I came to Florida!” when the weather isn’t nice.

The weather is generally typical Florida, but in every other respect, these migrants have brought Long Island, Connecticut or New Jersey along with them. However long they’ve been here, they speak with pure northeastern accents, which have probably strengthened over the years to mark their affiliation with their places of origin. Neighbors moved with neighbors, family with family. They live next door to or around the corner from those with whom they came. Adult children visit from the North, grandchildren in tow, whenever school is out. For many of them, this is the second or third generation of “snowbirds” who have moved to the same area from their mid-Atlantic or New England home turf. Moving to Florida is part of the culture.

People adapt their facial expressions, posture, habits of movement, and ways of speaking to signal their allegiance to different social groups. Thus, when people seem to resemble each other, much of the resemblance is more behavioral than actually physical. I remember once, a long time ago, that the secretary of our department had a daughter who looked like her mother to an extreme degree. We were always amazed when we saw the daughter – we could easily have mistaken her for her mother, except for the difference in age. One day, the daughter had a major falling out with her mother – they didn’t speak or see each other for months afterward. About a year after that incident, I again saw the mother and daughter together, only I couldn’t figure out who the younger person was;. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her before. She looked nothing like the mother. Virtually all of the “resemblance” turned out to have been in the behavior, language, and expressions that they shared, in their close relationship. This is undoubtedly also the mechanism by which spouses or partners who are emotionally very closely linked come, over time, to resemble each other. And apparently, it also explains a significant part of “family resemblance.”

It struck me both how much Ellen’s sister and Ellen seem to resemble each other, although the resemblance is largely behavioral. In a still picture, they don’t seem much alike at all. And being surrounded all weekend with New York and New England transplants also seemed strange with their uncanny retention of northeastern mannerisms and behaviors, even after 30 or more years living in Florida.

I spent a large part of today, with my host (originally from Brooklyn), at a shopping mall. When it was time for lunch and we went to the food court, I was astonished. There were 8 restaurants in the court: one each of Chinese, Japanese, Pizza, and Greek, each with exactly zero people in front of it. There were also four (!!) New York delis. Each of these had long snaking lines, 40 or more people strong. The menus were straight from New York – blintzes, pastrami, Hebrew National hotdogs, bagels in 24 flavors, lox and cream cheese, brightly colored cans of different cream sodas, barrels of pickles… Many of the people in line for deli food were younger visitors freshly arrived from the Northeast, their accents apparent. It reminded me of seeing the lines of US tourists outside McDonald’s restaurants in charming German, Swiss, or French towns, with restaurants just alongside serving local dishes – not that mall food court pizzas or Gyros are any great draw, foodwise. The deli food was actually very good – an excellent choice.

I’m now ready to return home tomorrow morning, feeling as if I’ve come south for a visit to New York City!