Love Tributes

Au revoir Adieu October 22 2009


In French class, long ago

We learned when to use the

Two French words that mean “Good-bye.”

Our teacher said that “Au revoir” was

“I’ll see you later”

One used “Adieu,” In contrast,

When farewells were final – from now on.

In my teenaged innocence, I thought,

“Oh! So the only one I need to know is ‘Au revoir.’

The other one’s archaic, though it’s good to know.”

Now, I look back and laugh, sardonically.

I had it wrong. “Adieu” is the hard lesson that one learns

In older age – a mandate to let go, accept, and still go on.

Life now revolves around “Adieu,”

Forever more.

Rosemary’s Reflection:
Ellen’s and my similar life experiences in French-speaking parts of Europe – I in France and she in Switzerland – played an important role in shaping our way of thinking so that we could understand each other, despite coming from different ethnic backgrounds. Ellen studied medicine for three years and graduated as a doctor from the Universite de Lausanne, in Switzerland. I studied linguistics and psychology for three years at the universities of Toulouse, then Nancy, in France.

I often realized that sometimes Ellen and I were actually using English words but French meanings and French sentence structures. Very few people would have been able to use these conversational forms. But they were for us like a shared native language, a unique hybrid background that drew us together.

In addition, Ellen had a wonderful talent for making clever trans-lingual puns. She, for instance, coined the nickname “Romarin” for me. Romarin is the French word for the herb we call “rosemary.” But the name “Rosemary” in French – rarely used – would be said “Rose-Marie.” Another complex inter-lingual pun she created played on the English irregular plural of mouse as “mice.” In French, she pluralized the word “epouse” (spouse) as “deux epices.” – a plural form alien to French. She also used the same pun in English – “one spouse – two spice.” In the last month before she died, Ellen sent me a Facebook message that I treasure. Next to a photo of her waving in the distance, standing in the surf at Monterey, CA, she wrote, prophetically, that she was sending me “an infinite supply of hugs” and signed herself “L’epouse de deux epices.” I did not receive this message until after she had died. Here is a poem she wrote using "deux epices" between our wedding in Massachusetts and her death:

Deux epices

Quivering hearts

Know what is true.

Our love will last

Beyond us.

(Poem from Ellen, 9/20/08)

Again, her tone was prophetic, referring to the approaching moment of our separation.



Rosemary: What I would Do October 24 2009

If you were here,

I’d give to you a

Riotous bouquet of memories,

Loving thoughts,

Whispered words,

Expressions of enduring love,

Forever bonding.

I’d reach to touch your hand and stroke your hair,

And sit right next to you so we could hug each other.

I’d bask, smiling, in the light and warmth

Of your affection.

I’d say my truth, That we are destined for forever love.


But you’re not here – you’re there, and I am here alone.

Yet, I will collect the flowers of my love,

And give them to you every day from now till when we meet again.