Familhy Gathering

Basics September 14 2009


Family gathering. Several generations.

Little kids run, scream, cry,

Playing hard, Interacting.

Everything’s immediate – right now.

It reminds us of the basic rhythms

Of sustaining life –

Eating, running, learning, eating, napping,

Changing, running, laughing, crying…

In a way, it’s soothing – always in the present.

Actions come and go at warp speed,

Followed always by another, and another.

Yet I miss the grown up chance to

Meditate, reflect, converse, consider -- get outside myself.

Each time of life has its own needs and its rewards.

That’s another necessary basic rhythm.



Reflections:

Yesterday, we attempted a family reunion – trying to get all five of us and our families together in one place at one time, since both I and my daughter’s family would be in New England together – something that hasn’t happened in a long time. Those who came had a wonderful time. We did manage to recreate the exuberant sense of extended family that had marked several annual multi-generational gatherings during our childhood – winter and summer. Those get-togethers from long ago have provided me with a wonderful lifelong sense of family, of belonging. We wanted to relive that excitement, and also to share it with our children and grandchildren. Although we succeeded, still we felt sad that not all of us had made the effort to attend. We missed those who didn’t come, as we missed those who are no longer with us in this life.



The passage of time that creates holes and new stitches in the family fabric is bittersweet. Now, instead of being the exuberant children racing around, being asked to perform new skills to show them off to older relatives, getting acquainted and enjoying seldom seen cousins, we were the old ladies, the grandmas, grandpas, great-aunts and great-uncles. There is also the joy of watching the next generation just beginning their lives – the sense of belonging continues, even as it falters. A family gathering is a major achievement – one to be savored intensely as we get to experience it.





Sisters September 14 2009

As children, we were proud to be five sisters –

The “Hyde Girls.” We seemed a well knit set.

We felt special.

But as we’ve gotten older, differences outrank our sense of kinship.



We held a gathering this week with some not there --

The close knit rows and stitches showing holes,

Like an ancient cardigan, unraveling.